Note: This blog was originally written and posted on Myspace in the spring of 2007. At the time I was still single. Now I have found one of those good guys and I’m happy to say that he possesses just about every one of the qualities listed below. My advice to the single women out there is to keep the bar high and never settle for anything less than one of those great guys.
Many men probably wonder what women really want. They seem to have a hard time figuring us, women, because we keep on sending them mixed messages. In general, what we want is a Good Guy to date and eventually marry some day. To better answer the question I decided to list the Top 20 Qualities of Good Guys…the keepers…the ones that are worth our love and devotion…the Mr. Rights in this Mr. Wrong world.
Good guys…
1. Are first and foremost, gentlemen. They are polite, respectful, considerate and attentive to a woman’s needs. They open the door, pull her chair, lend their coat, offer to escort her home, pay for the dinner and kiss her goodbye on the cheek not on the lips. Good guys never cross the line of being inappropriate.
2. Sense a quality woman from miles. They adjust their approach accordingly because they realize the first impression is the most lasting one. What works with 90 % of the women they met before may not work with the 10 % of quality women out there. Good guys have a keen sense for those special women.
3. Are not intimidated by strong women. Good guys are not threatened by women who speak their minds, have different opinions, show passion or the causes they believe in or perhaps, earn more money than them. They see strong women as a gift to society because they are the ones who have the power to change things for the better.
4. Never EVER use cheese lines or compliments to approach a woman. The chances are she already knows she’s attractive and has heard it a million of times. Good guys don’t compliment physical attributes. They compliment woman’s mind…her intellect…or better yet…her soul!
5. They know that to keep a woman around, they have to stimulate ALL of her senses – physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual. Good guys can satisfy a woman’s needs in every aspect of life and beyond.
6. Don’t ever rush physical intimacy. They understand the specialness of the act and prefer to invest in building the emotional and spiritual connections first. Once those two are established, the sexual connection will blow both of their minds away!
7. Make love to a woman’s soul at the same time as her body. Merging with her soul is their ultimate goal…not just a mere orgasm.
8. Are supportive to woman’s personal and career goals. They understand the importance of individual growth outside the relationship realm. Good guys see their woman’s success as their own success. Therefore, they prefer to encourage her to move forward as opposed to oppress her desires for expansion.
9. Write cards, send text messages, buy flowers and cook dinners for a woman as an act of thoughtfulness. Good guys don’t need an occasion to express their love. They just do it spontaneously.
10. Keep their word. If they promised to call, stop by, take you out or do anything else, they stick to their promise. If they are unable to fulfill their promise, good guys have a sensible explanation…not a lame excuse.
11. Are not jealous. Good guys don’t require for a woman to check with them every single hour, to give them detailed reports on who she’s speaking to on the phone, to document every one of her activities or to follow everywhere she goes. They are secure enough in themselves to need a constant reaffirmation of the status of their relationship.
12. Are a woman’s best friend! They know that to have a lasting relationship and consequently a lasting marriage, they have to build a solid base first…which is the friendship. Good guys are a woman’s Allie not her enemy in this crazy world.
13. Are in touch with their romantic side. They are not afraid to express their emotions, talk about their feelings, show their interest and do it in the most romantic ways possible. Good guys can make a woman’s heart melt from miles away just by opening their romantic side and letting the love flow.
14. Have achieved a balance in their lives on their own. Good guys have invested enough time in all aspects in their development – family, education, career, health, hobbies, interests and sports. They are happy with who they are and are satisfied with their lives.
15. Will find time and place for you no matter how busy and crazy their schedule may be. Good guys never use the excuse, “Sorry, but I was busy with work.” If they want to be with you, they will move mountains, sail oceans, cross continents, fly countries and do anything they can to be with their special woman.
16. Don’t use past relationship disappointments as excuses to why they don’t want to commit to a woman. What happened in the past, stays there. What’s important is the here and the now…and that is YOU!
17. Are funny, goofy and spontaneous. They can put a smile on your face and make you laugh without any effort. They can play goofy games with you without being immature. They can drop everything and take a road trip with you just because. The best memories are created in the spur of the moment and good guys are aware of that.
18. See their woman as the most beautiful, glorious, magnificent and unique woman in the entire Universe! Other beautiful women may catch a good guy’s eye but his heart and soul belong to her!
19. Love animals. They either own one or they just melt when they are around your puppy, your mother’s kitten or your friend’s bunny rabbit. Good guys who love animals show they are compassionate, loving, caring and considerate of other live beings in the world. That also means they will make awesome dads some day.
20. Have no ego. Good guys are humble guys. They don’t need to beat themselves in the chest to show they are better, stronger, smarter, more successful or more handsome than other men. The ego is the enemy of good guys and they usually have it under control.
© 2007 Zoe Vaklinova – All Rights Reserved
right!
By: bejagged on August 17, 2008
at 8:39 pm
My man fits every single catagory perfectly.. I was so shocked when I read them and realized he is all of them 100%
Tina+Bryan<3
By: network cabling on August 18, 2008
at 12:35 am
Hi there,
I love your list. How many times do we women SAY that we want a certain kind of man and yet are we really sure about exactly what it is we DO want in a man.
Your list is filled with wisdom and compassion and high hopes. I believe that when we get really sure about what it is we don’t want in a partner, it is the fuel we need to figure out what we do want!
I am glad you have met someone who is the kind of man who is a perfect fit for you! Congrats!!
Catherine
Http://HowToMakeYourManPerfect.wordpress.com
By: Catherine Behan on August 18, 2008
at 1:06 am
as a guy, i really apreciate your work spending time make that list by your own experience. truly i dont have most criteria that you listed above. but, i am lucky to know what things that women really want from men. so i can learn by now. maybe i am not a super high quality good guy, but that list could be something that i should apply in my relationship with women. thank you for sharing, i’ll keep it as my guidance! visit my blog anytime. thanks
By: herliando on August 18, 2008
at 9:28 am
Sounds like the description of a robot
By: David Halliday on August 18, 2008
at 3:30 pm
Great list! My husband possesses most of those things..he could do better on the flowers, texting stuff…but mostly he is a great guy and I love him to peices!
By: lwayswright on August 18, 2008
at 5:16 pm
To David:
You have an interesting take. So you are basically saying that men like the one I described must be robots because they don’t exist? Then me and the other ladies that wrote above must be dating robots.
Good guys and good girls DO EXIST! You just have to stop allowing the bad ones to abuse your heart.
~ Zoe
By: psuvolleygirl on August 18, 2008
at 5:24 pm
i like this, because my girlfriend said im all thoes things and MORE!, nice,
there are still gentlemen around, but not many of us! certanly not a robot!!, oh and my spelling is poor! i know!
peace x
By: benjamin moody on August 18, 2008
at 9:21 pm
That’s what the talking about THANK YOU LORD someone who reallllllly apprecatied a good man, butnI need to print that list off see which ones I got down. Now I feel like holding on, and also show that list to any female who gots yea GOTS a problem with a nice guy being a nice guy just print this off and hit ‘em wit it well not physically, but you know what I mean.
By: Jajuan on October 25, 2008
at 1:57 am
This list is awesome. It is exactly what I look for and is so eloquently written. Thank you for transferring thougths to paper. Seeing it in written form makes avoid the jerks much easier!
By: jennie on January 10, 2009
at 3:37 am
My man displays all of these attributes!
By: Shelby on January 26, 2010
at 5:45 pm
Hi.. David
Ya sure its sound like robot but its true in resulting world people may accept the thing instantaneously but they does not aware the realistic the things for long term relationship its too right for better relationship for long lifer than accepting it for short term .
I agree with psuvolleygirl a soft hearted women , she understand better forever relationship than us .
I also agree with your views its depends upon person to person how much people they face in their life for surviving own life ..
Vivek
By: Vivek on March 14, 2010
at 1:17 pm
A guy with no ego isn’t a good guy. Everyone needs some sort of ego. There’s a difference between being humble and having no ego. One should recognize what they are good at and they should feel good about it. That’s having a healthy ego. One should also avoid being arrogant and be courteous and respectful. That is being humble. A good guy is humble and has a healthy ego.
By: Elizabeth on May 4, 2010
at 1:33 am
I agree with Elizabeth in that not only should a man have an ego but act like a man and not a woman. Women may think that they want to date a guy who acts like a woman but when it comes down to it, they are really attracted to a man who acts like a man,- strong sense of ego, forward-moving, action-oriented, active (physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually), probing/piercing…these are all male qualities…regardless of any intellectual judgment of whether they are “good” or “bad”…they are beyond moral consideration…that is just what males of their species act like…now there are some males of the human species who have been conditioned to think that taking on certain female qualities makes them more “acceptable” by women…I would even venture to say a lot of times a woman doesn’t even know what she wants (that’s not to say that she doesn’t know what she does NOT want) and that it takes a guy who can show her more than she can expect or imagine to REALLY woo her
This is not intended to offend women who are happy with their “tamed” men but to simply offer an alternative to women’s “wish list” for what they want in a man…because it is the man’s job to be in touch with being a man and not have it dictated by society or their mother…but to discover and learn it from other men who are in touch with it…then, they will be able to have any woman they want who is open to real masculinity (and not waiting for a watered-down feminized version of a male)
By: Alex on July 2, 2010
at 3:51 pm
We are certainly allowed to have our difference in preference in the opposite sex, Alex. I wouldn’t call my list a “watered-down version of a male” though. I’ve met MANY men when I was dating and the true men who stood out from the rest possessed all or most of the qualities described above. Real men (or good guys) do not need to be confused with ego-less or feminine men. Nor do they need to be compared to egocentric, selfish womanizers. They stand in a category of their own.
By: Zoe V on July 2, 2010
at 4:03 pm
Wow!im blesd my man has ol e characteristics.il neva want 2 liv him.i nw realis he is the best
By: Faith alanah on March 10, 2011
at 6:15 am
Alex, you must also realize that many of the qualities that make a man “masculine” and make a woman “feminine” are attributes CREATED BY SOCIETY.
Yes, men and women have different hormone levels, amongst other biological differences. We are not the same in certain respects. But you can’t simply ignore the fact that gender norms are constructed by religion, media, tradition, and social conditioning from the time we are born (“pink is for girls, blue is for boys. And that’s just the way it is.”).
By: nikki on April 25, 2011
at 4:48 am
I have read all the comments above and agree with the ideas behind all of them but #14 and #15 may “be in degrees” … a Good Man Doesn’t Push for a Relationship when He Feels He Can’t Be 100 percent into a relationship and is Understandably Cautious. (yes, there is one or two up there about not rushing into the physical relationship, but a Woman is Prone to Change her mind… Why can’t a Man Be Cautious too?)
By: divdad on August 14, 2011
at 9:10 am
i luv ur piece nd all d response. i was researching to boarden my knowledge so i can put down a book on ‘your choice of a man’ wen i came accross ur piece, good work.
By: felix on August 16, 2011
at 6:43 am
I enjoyed this post and reading the work. However I wish for the opposite take as well, What are the top 20 qualities of Good Women?
By: Liste on September 1, 2011
at 12:19 am
The man I am in LOVE with only fits 3. Thats why he is my ex. The break up is still fresh and the LOVE on my side is still there. But I must move on.
By: SAm on September 4, 2011
at 11:13 am
WOW! Thanks for the “Good Man” list…after a year and a half of being with some jerk..I have found the above description. Listen to Areosmith’s “Amazing”…so true..one does finaly see the light!
By: denise on September 16, 2011
at 2:25 pm
this is a great discription of the perfect guy, but is very wrong in many aspects. i have tried the nice guy routine, with the flowers,chocolate, and opening the door what i found out is i should have just walked up to the girl with a handfull of flowers and said “hi im a fag and want to be put in the freind zone” all guys hate the freind zone and thats were nice guys go, everyone knows assholes finish first, i wish it was nice guys that get the girl but they always want the bad boy.
By: Bryant on September 28, 2011
at 12:43 pm
Mines doesn’t hold MOST of the qualities……guess its time for a new one…cant change them can you! :-{
By: soooosadddd on November 1, 2011
at 11:54 pm
My man doesn’t have any of those qualities i just want Gods’ intervension
By: Funmilayo on November 3, 2011
at 6:12 pm
Im totally blown, I Pray to God that this kind of man i may find because what we see this days is totally out of line, As a single lady i will at al times keep my preferances high, THANX
By: Aletta on November 20, 2011
at 6:23 am
My man doesn’t do nothing but hang with his friend everyday. He say they be hunting but they don’t. Just be hanging out drinking. He gets up every morning getting in touch with the guys to leave and stay gone all day until night. This have been and every day thing I don’t know what to do can anybody give me any advice?
By: redgirl77 on December 13, 2011
at 12:23 am
Dear Mr. Alex,
Whatever Ms. Zoe mentioned in this article, are purified. That does not mean a man has all good qualites. As far as I concerned 2 to 3 qualities have under a man then an women will be lived happly with her men.
I don’t have experience in love with a girl. but I believe in todays the the girls like professionalist mans in her life.
By: Santosh Kumar Pattanaik on December 26, 2011
at 8:39 am
If you do this, your girl leaves you for an asshole who treat her ‘right’…
Be the MAN, protective, strong, be a bad ass when there is a situation…
When girls(good n bad) find a guy with this long list of qualities, they keep them in friend zone….
You sure don’t wanna be in friendzone(which is worse than being her cat)….
LIKE A SIR…
By: A Man with No Name on February 17, 2012
at 4:18 am
U have really given me what i wanted
By: uguemah samuel on April 20, 2012
at 5:39 pm