Just want to take the time to wish everyone a happy, healthy, prosperous and blessed new 2010 year! It’s not only the beginning of another year but the mark of a whole new decade! Imagine all the possibilities that await us. Are you excited yet???
In this video I share my new year’s resolutions. I feel 2010 will bring a lot of positive changes into my life, particularly in my career path and health/wellness. Those are the two areas that I’m planning to focus on the most. Of course, being a mommy will always remain my number one priority.
Today marks the 20th anniversary of the fall of Communism in Bulgaria – November 10th, 1989. For those who don’t know yet, I was born and raised in Bulgaria before coming to America with my family in 1997. I was 10 years old when the Berlin Wall came down, an event that snowballed the fall of Communism throughout other Eastern European countries including my native Bulgaria. Although young I fully understood the magnitude of the event. Witnessing the fight of the Bulgarian people to establish democratic nation has deeply influenced my views on politics today. My deepest gratitude to those who paid with their lives so that we can enjoy our freedom today.
In honor of that anniversary, I have created a video accounting my personal experience of the event, as well as some interesting stories from my life in a Communist country.
This morning a moment of truth flashed before my eyes. Light rain was drizzling over the tree in our backyard. Most leaves had already fallen to the ground but there were still many left, clinging to the branches for one last chance to be part of the mother tree.
Don’t ask me why but the thought of God came to mind. God being the tree and humans being its leaves. Each one of us represents a leaf on the tree of life. As the seasons change our lives change. They have a clear beginning and clear ending. Yet the ending is also a signal of another beginning to come not too long from now. Everything is cyclical.
Can the tree be a tree without its leaves? Can the leaves be leaves without the tree? They cannot. Both are interchangeably related as one represent the whole and the whole represents the one. So many of us search for God outside ourselves as if we are separated and He is superior to us. We turn to religious establishments and self-proclaimed gurus to teach us who is our God. And the more we rely on outside sources for the truth the more confused and lost we become.
If one wants to understand God then one needs to understand the concept of the tree and the leaves. As the leaves on the tree, as the waves of the ocean, as the cells in our body, we are all united and connected to the Source, God, Universe or whatever one chooses to call it. As a result of our interconnectedness, causing harm to another is the same as causing harm upon oneself; stealing from another is the same as stealing from oneself; turning back on another is the same as turning back on oneself.
The separation we’ve created by sheltering ourselves from others is responsible for much of the hate, violence and injustice in the world. If we want to evolve, we’ve got to stop thinking in terms of Me or You when there is only We. Humans may have individual souls but each soul is powered by the soul of our Source. We cannot exist without God and God cannot exist without us. We are one and the same. We are the interconnected tree of life.
My friend Alex sent me a link to a Coca Cola commercial aired in Brazil this year. At first I didn’t think much of it and felt a little apprehensive since I am not a fan of soda (Coca Cola especially). But I figured to check it out of curiosity. Was I surprised! Had it not been for the very end, I wouldn’t have never known it was a Coca Cola commercial. Brand name aside, the message was what captured my attention. It was remarkably beautiful and deeply profound. It brought an important memory from last year, which I would like to share with you here (please watch the commercial first and then read the rest of my blog).
In the summer of 2008, shortly after I got pregnant with Denzin, I was at Whole Foods looking to purchase my first prenatal vitamins. As I was carefully reading the labels a man walked by me and engaged in a friendly conversation. After he learned that I was pregnant he made an unexpected comment. Appearing in his 40s, he said that he doesn’t have any children but considering the present economy, he would never want to have children. Shocked by his reaction, I asked why. He explained that the whole world is getting worse by the day and it’s depressing to live, let alone bring a child into this mess. Then he wished me good luck and we separated.
That encounter remained dormant in my mind until I saw the Coca Cola commercial today, coincidentally titled “Encounter.” Based on a true story, the commercial features an old man at the age of 102 on his way to meet his soon-to-be-born great grandchild. As we follow his trip from the country to the city, he narrates what he’s learned about life. Right before his great grandson is about to enter this world he says the following:
“You will ask what is the reason I’ve come to visit you today. It’s because most people will say, what a bad moment you’ve chosen to come into the world. We are in crisis, that’s not a good thing. Well, it will make you stronger. I’ve lived worse moments than this one, but in the end, you’ll remember only good things. Don’t waste time in nonsense, there is plenty of it. And go find what makes you happy while you can since time slips away very quickly.”
I admit I shed a tear at that revelation. It brought out that memory about the mystery man in Whole Foods last summer. I felt sadness for him, for his lack of perspective on life, for his inability to see the beauty of new life in spite of turmoil and uncertainty. I wonder how many other people, overtaken by fear, decide not to have children today because they observe the world only through a negative lens.
Then I hear the news of yet another parent who dropped into a deep depression and decided to take the lives of his/her children and then end theirs. All because they lost their job and suddenly don’t have money to provide any food and shelter to their families. How did those parents get into such a deep emotional abyss where they chose death over life? It’s heartbreaking.
My boyfriend Mark and I are both unemployed at the moment due to reasons that were beyond our control. It’s a challenging period as I’m sure many families and individuals find themselves to be in the same situation. We look for jobs every day and keep optimistic that our current situation is only temporary. After the storm there is always sunshine and occasionally, a beautiful rainbow.
As for having a child in the midst of a global financial crisis and skyrocketing unemployment rate, well, as the grandfather on the commercial said, one day we will only remember the good moments. There isn’t a day that I don’t enjoy being a mom to my precious son. He’s brought so much happiness and joy not only to Mark and I, but also to our families. We all have changed and become much closer because of this new addition. We cannot imagine our lives any other way.
If one needs hope, he only needs to look into the eyes of a child. Seldom do we find such innocence and purity in any other place. No matter how bad life may get, when you are with your child(ren) you realize what truly matters. They are not just another expense that you have to deal with, as I observe some parents say. On the contrary, they are those who will carry the flame of hope into the new world. They are the ones who will change it. If you ask me, there has never been a better time to have a child than now.
I’ve been noticing a disturbing trend emerge in the dating world lately. More people recycle through relationships than I recycle plastic and aluminum at home. And I recycle a lot! Dating has become some sort of a game where you can find all kinds of instant gratification BUT true love and happiness. It makes you wonder what people do wrong that causes this high level of partner recycling. Here I will share the five most common mistakes people commit in relationships.
The Illusion of Completeness
There was a time in life when my definition of true love was finding someone who completes you, kind of like finding the missing piece in the puzzle. When I met my first boyfriend, I was so eager to jump into a relationship that somewhere along the way instead of finding true happiness, I lost my identity altogether. All I cared about was satisfying his demands. If he was happy then I was happy. In my mind I thought I was doing the right thing because I believed he was my other half and I needed him in order to function properly. When the relationship ended I was so lost that it took me a good bit of time to recover. I realize that what I created was an illusion of completeness. No one could ever make you a whole because you ARE already a whole. You have to remember that truth about you before entering your next relationship.
Losing Your Self-worth
I have a few friends who constantly complain that the opposite sex doesn’t respect and value them. They feel taken advantage of one way or another. When we get into a deeper conversation about their relationship, I begin noticing that it’s not their partner who mistreats them as much as they allow that partner to get away with bad behavior. When you lose your self-worth and allow another to define you as they please, you surrender your life in their hands. The problem with such mindset is that it creates the perfect ground for an emotionally-abusive relationship. If you have a clearly defined sense of self-worth, you would never give a partner who doesn’t deserve you the time of the day. Begin valuing yourself so others will value you too.
Stuck in the Past
For other individuals living in the past seems more appealing that embracing the present. At a point of their life they met someone who they fell in love with head over heels. The relationship didn’t stand the test of time and dissolved after a while. Their partner moved on with their life while they seem to be re-living the past, wondering how they could have changed things. The truth is that not every relationship is meant to last a lifetime. Some of our partners cross our path to teach us a specific lesson. When that lesson is taught, they must leave and continue their own journey. Unfortunately, many times we are so preoccupied with the pain of their departure that we miss the lesson. It’s essential to make peace and let go of the past so that new experiences and relationships will have the opportunity to unfold before us.
The Pursuit of Perfection
There is no such thing as a perfect human, let alone a perfect relationship. That’s one of the most important lessons you will learn in life. Relationships require acceptance and willingness to work together. In the process you evolve individually and as a couple. When you set up unrealistic expectations, you hinder that natural evolution. Consequently, you are faced with nothing but disappointments. I’ve known a few people who suffer from this problem. To others they had an amazing relationship; to them nothing was ever good enough. They took for granted the everyday blessings in their lives. On a deeper level, people who relentlessly pursue perfection actually try to compensate for the lack of self-love. Sadly, for them the flower of true love may never be found because they won’t allow it to flourish in their garden.
Non-stop Searching
Three years ago when my long-term relationship ended unexpectedly and painfully, I was on a mission to find a replacement as quick as possible. Instead of giving myself time to heal I jumped right back into the dating pool. I kept on having bad dating experiences but that didn’t diminish my determination to find my next boyfriend. One day I got so tired of the searching game that I simply gave up on my goal. A year passed without going on a date and two without a relationship. That is when Mark came into my life in the least expected way. Ironically, neither he nor I were looking for a relationship at the time. We just stumbled into each other on Myspace and became really good friends in a short period of time. Little did we know, a year later we would be living together and expecting our first child. The point of my story is that you have end the ongoing search and let love find you. The higher number of dates does not correlate to a higher chance of finding the One. It is exactly the opposite.
It took me a long time to figure out those five mistakes. During the learning process I was not even aware I was doing something wrong. But that’s how one evolves. Each person, each relationship, each interaction plays a role in finding out who you are. In that sense, there really are no mistakes. However, if you keep repeating the same pattern of behavior, fully knowing it’s not working, then you don’t evolve. You regress. And you continue recycling through yet another relationship.
My name is Zoe and I am a living foods chef and wellness coach dedicated to helping people live their best lives. My blog is for the mind, body and spirit. It cover a wide array of green topics including the raw food lifestyle, holistic medicine, spirituality, green living tips, sustainable practices, green parenting or simply sudden moments of inspiration.
If you would like to contact me, please email me at greenmomzoe@gmail.com.
