When It’s Time To Call It Quits «

Walking Away by Mowling.

One thing I could never figure out is why people stay in bad relationships. I mean, they know that is not the right partner for them and they know it’s not going to work out. Yet they continue dating long after the initial realization has hit.

To say that I haven’t been a victim of such a toxic relationship would be a lie. Yes, I have dated a man before who I let get away with things he shouldn’t have gotten away in the first place. But as any woman who loves her man would do, I forgave him…hoping that things will change magically. I was wrong. I learned the hard way.

The problem is not experiencing and staying in a bad relationship once. All of us have to learn our lessons sooner or later in life. However, some of us NEVER learn the lesson and continue re-cycling through bad relationships thinking that things will be different next time.

Well, I’m sorry to break the news to you but there are certain “red flags” that you should pay attention to and never ignore. Below is a short list of some of the sign of when it’s time to call it quits!

~ Lack of Communication ~ that’s the biggest red flag in a relationship. If you and your partner cannot have an adult conversation and address your concerns, your relationship is doomed right from the start. Since communication is the building block of a relationship, the lack of it creates tension between the partners which can result in misunderstanding and ton of unnecessary arguments.

~ Lack of Respect ~ respect is really a two-way street. A man has to respect and honor his woman and the woman has to respect and honor her man. Not having respect for each other is a sign of shameless disregard for the other person.

~ Lack of Friendship ~ the secret to long-lasting marriages is rooted in the friendship between the man and the woman. Couples who establish friendship early on have greater chance of sticking together through life’s tests. So if you don’t consider your partner your friend, you are in the wrong relationship.

~ Lack of Fun ~ spending a lifetime with a person who has no sense of humor or adventure is equal to a lifetime of boredom. If you can’t laugh together, travel together, explore and learn new things together, then you need to reconsider why you are in this relationship.

~ Lack of Sex ~ yeah, let’s face it…once you stop having sex with your partner, your relationship, marriage or whatever you call it is pretty much over. Sex is the innate need to express our love for our partner. Taking that away results in infidelity or a lifetime of misery.

~ Lack of Compatibility ~ a little bit of difference may spice up a relationship but too much of it will surely ruin it. If you and your partner seem to have completely different lifestyles, interests, hobbies and values in life, you are bound to have a lot of tension in your relationship. At some point the differences will become so magnified that you would rather be away from your partner than to be with them.

~ Lack of Trust ~ trust is a gift to your partner that is very delicate and fragile. When they break it, it’s basically broken forever. You may try to rebuild your trust but doubts, fears and jealousy may become prevalent as a result of it. Some people even develop paranoia that irritates their partner and causes the ultimate breakup.

As you reflect on your current relationship or past relationships, you would be able to identify one or a combination of those issues. The interesting thing is that they are not exclusive but rather interdependent. In other words, if you lack communication in your relationship, you probably lack respect and trust as well. Or if you don’t have sex with your partner, you probably have zero fun and friendship with them. Rarely can you have one of them missing but the rest present.

The best favor you can do yourself if you are in a bad relationship is to be honest with yourself!

Don’t sugarcoat issues.

Don’t excuse bad behavior because you love them.

Don’t stay with your partner out of convenience.

Don’t sacrifice your happiness and growth for theirs.

Don’t get stuck in the endless destructive cycle hoping that things will change tomorrow.

You see…we humans are so addicted to love that we would do anything to get it or maintain it. That means, we enter and stay in bad relationships because we believe if we love our partners strong enough, we’ll change them into who we want them to be. WRONG!

People don’t change for other people. The only change occurs within…when YOU want it.

True love doesn’t require suffering. So if you are suffering in your relationship, most likely it’s NOT true love!